Maybe it’s due to the fact that last Monday I spent time with my sister-in-law’s family, but I felt inclined to make that very thing the subject of today’s post; family, or more accurately, what specifically constitutes that construct. Over the course of my life, I’ve interacted with a variety of people who had different family structures, in addition to consuming different media both with a wide array of that same concept. While I first heard the line that inspired the title, it was set in a fictious world, however that does not diminish from the truth behind that quote.
For the curious amongst the readers that quote is from the television series Supernatural, which lasted far longer than the stars themselves originally thought. The show follows two brothers but weaved around the theme of family, with plot points involving their father on some occasions, their mother on others, but the show itself built up a theme of chosen family; those not related to them, but who stood by them through thick and thin. One such member of this chosen family uttered the first half of the title. As the writers explored more dynamics, they introduced a relative who shared the same goal as the brothers but went about it in the wrong way, viewing those around him, including his biological relatives, as pawns rather than as equals. This is just one example of the silver screen using the trope of family, but in my opinion, one of the best, because it wasn’t the basic “blood is thicker than water” cliché, rather it explored several different viewpoints on the subject of family.
There is a term in Jewish communities called Machatunium, which refers to one’s parents as well of the parents of one’s spouse. I looked up this term specifically for this post, as at a cookout held at the house of an uncle of my brother’s spouse, his mother-in-law referred to me using this term, and explained through that, we were family, to which I have two disagreements, number one being that as those of you who have read my previous post on church can attest to, I am not Jewish. The second of these two being that my brother is fond of pointing out that Judaism is “the religion of lawyers,” meaning that there are so many technicalities to be argued that it seems like the perfect religion for someone of that profession. How does this relate to the point that I do not fit the definition of Machatunium? Quite simply because I have yet to meet a lawyer yet who has been able to successfully argue that I am the parent of either my brother or his spouse, though in all fairness I have consulted no rabbi before reaching this conclusion.
In truth, I think Supernatural hit the nail on the head when the show went into chosen family. Personally, my chosen family resides in my friends both from college and from organizations I have volunteered with. Shared experiences can also contribute to one’s criteria of chosen family. The accident I mentioned in my last post placed me in a program for others with remarkable stories of how they beat the odds and recovered from seemingly impossible circumstances. Though most of us haven’t seen each other in years, I still consider them family. I have even found family in visiting friends, meaning that I became close enough with their family that in a sense I was adopted into it. So look around you. You might just have more family around you than you think.
And apologies about missing the post last week, ironically enough I was traveling to visit some of my own family and didn’t want to take away from the weekend by stepping out to write a blog post.